We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
