im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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