I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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