Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
