How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
