I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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