thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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