seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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