I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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