i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
