he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
