I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize