I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
