you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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