Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
