PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
she pinky promised me she was 18
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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