Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
