Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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