Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just cut my nipple shaving
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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