Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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