I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
