Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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