Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I think people are normalizing furries
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