You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
is that a dick in a sweater?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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