Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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