:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize