I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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