Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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