Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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