doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
