i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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