My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
