Is it because I queefed?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
we're making bets on your personal life
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
