For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
