my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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