I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
