You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
