omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I had to cum in my sink.
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