Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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