she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
