..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
