I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
so explain again why im purple
no
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
