ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
