What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
