to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I think i got beer on your cat.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
