I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
