i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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