I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
