why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Shame - the story of my life.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
