4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
false alarm, still single
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
