Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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