id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
