toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
The best revenge is premature balding
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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