they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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