whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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