Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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