Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
