I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
