If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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