you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Dignity is for republicans.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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