what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
