He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
