Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
