Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
