so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
