I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
