bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
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